Tuesday, November 3, 2009

No more regular summaries

Yeah, I've run out of steam doing Ichigo ichie for now so I won't be posting weekly summaries. Sorry. HOWEVER I am not quitting blogging completely as I may have Aichan or MM-related stuff to write about from time to time.

P.S. If you want something to blame, blame Little Big Planet as most of my time goes to it :P


P.S.S. An unnamed member of Berryz will be a guest on her show next week.

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Monday, November 2, 2009

H!P Qu!ck H!ts

By: The Incredible He-Hulk


With the goal of posting more often in mind, I’ve decided to steal an idea from my sports writer buddies and begin doing a semi-regular post of my initial gut reactions to pieces of recent H!P news. Please keep in mind that I will always write down the very first thing I think of when I am made aware of these topics, so blunt and slightly crass will likely be the order of the day…



Umeda Erika retired from H!P October 25th.
No graduation. No surprise. Did anyone think H!P would do an actual graduation concert in a 1500 seat dance hall in Osaka with zero promotion? Girls who played by the rules always got graduations before, now there will always be speculation, rumor and innuendo as to why Erika didn’t get one.
To paraphrase Thomas Jefferson, "All tyrannical management needs to gain a foothold is for wota of good conscience to remain silent." Why don’t we ever stand up to them when they pull b*llshit like this? Why don’t we ever demand to know?


Morning Musume’s 41st single, Kimagure Princess, rolls out this week and next.
The backing track returns to the cliche "ethnic" feel of golden era Momuso hits, but it’s a been there done that song that isn’t here and doesn’t do that. It would have been immensely improved by the girls whispering “TOP SHHHHECRET” every 10 seconds, or so. If you don’t get that reference then you’re a terrible fan. *wink*


Inaba Atsuko announced her departure from Up-Front October 30th.
A girl whose work behind the scenes was always more important to H!P’s success than what she did in front of the camera, she will be missed by approximately 10 people. Those 10 people are individuals of sound mine and discerning tastes, however.
If she had chosen to leave 5 of 6 years ago she would have at least gotten acknowledged with a bouquet of flowers and a final solo song at a H!P Winter concert.


Sale of a new Fujimoto Miki Photobook (Jibunkon) centering on her wedding has been announced. It will be released in November.
Why? Because coveting another man’s wife is awesome! It’s sin-a-licious. Now that I know this is coming, I’ve already begun saving up for her eventual pregnancy photobook. Why? Because the only thing sexier than photos of Miki’s wedding will be photos of her Caesarean section…


Upcoming dual-side single (Like my future husband / Meteor Boy) release for Berryz Koubou marks second time this year they have released two singles over a two week period.
Is Berryz Koubou just not busy enough, or something? And could there possibly be a worse song topic for teenage idols than their future husbands? We fans tend to think no one is good enough for our idols, but the truth is most of our idols will end up with Manzai comedians, people who dress up as superheroes on childen's TV, or Ishimoto Yasuyuki.


It was recently announced that Sudou Maasa has obtained the starring role in the movie adaptation of the Japanese light novel “Light Novel no Tanoshii Kakikata.”
Probably quite good for her career. Very few H!P girls have ever had the starring role in a television series or movie, and it’s usually only the agencies top girls that get these opportunities. But I’m not going to be able to bring myself to watch this. Every piece of fiction H!P girls are in is always so freaking terrible. Do you remember “Last Present”? If there was ever a movie that made H!P fans feel "not so fresh" that was it.
There are at least a few ICU members who will demand we subtitle this Maasa movie, though…
Sigh… Extra Mild Vinegar or Extra Cleansing Farm-Fresh Flowers? I have a feeling we’ll all need farm-fresh flowers after this one.

More qu!ck h!ts next week.

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