Idol Replacement Therapy: A Series in Three Parts.

By: The Incredible He-Hulk


Apologies to any who have been anticipating the third part to this series. While I had the frame of all three articles written before posting the first, circumstances led to an inability to flesh it out until now. The time I can dedicate to my H!P hobby is mostly used up by managing our sub group. That is simply the reality of things. Now, on to part three...


Part 3: Judgments in Decision Making

The theories have been discussed. The facts have been considered. Now, what direction will management take? How will they handle these graduations? And, more importantly, how should they be handled?

Should C-ute add a new member?
No, they shouldn’t.

Will they add a new member?
No, they won’t. There’s too much risk and too little reward.

I will always personally believe that Kanna was added to C-ute in order to balance the unit out with Berryz Koubou before C-ute’s first single debuted—Eight girls apiece to ensure symmetry between the groups. Sadly, the decision to add Kanna to C-ute was made before management knew Maiha wanted to leave Berryz. And since Kanna had already been training for months to be prepared to join C-ute, management really had no choice but to continue with the plan, despite the fact that it would mean C-ute would have one more member than Berryz.
This assumption, when considered with the fact that UFA has never added another girl to the H!P Kids, or later to either Berryz or C-ute, indicates managements reservation in shaking these groups up.
And sadly, when it comes to Erika, there is the simple the fact that she has never really been central to the group’s success. She will be greatly missed, but nothing really changes with her departure. One could argue that the removal of someone like Airi would force H!P to either replace her with an idol capable of diminishing the loss of such a important member or simply sack the group altogether. The loss of a back row girl like Erika allows them to simply continue on as if nothing has happened. H!P has a very good idea of how popular each girl is. Erika’s leaving is a sad event for most, but not a deal breaker for 95% of C-ute’s wota.

These points make a strong case for H!P’s reservation to mess with the “idol gang” chemistry of these groups, but there is an additional factor at work beyond H!P simply adhering to this rule. It is a belief that while Morning Musume may be eternal, all of H!P’s other groups are transient and fleeting. Such has always been the case with H!P’s other acts. Country Musume, Coconuts Musume, T&C Bomber, etc. All of these served H!P to varying degrees of success, but beyond a few changes to the lineups during the first year, or so, none of these groups were artificially boosted by new talent regardless of what talent left the groups. Once they had outlived their usefulness they were all left to rot. In business terms, Momuso would be referred to as H!P’s “core product.” They are central to the survival of their entire company and make the money that sustains the business. The H!P Kids groups cannot be considered core products, at best they are very profitable side-projects. The distinction not only lies in sales, but in the fact that Morning Musume holds a position in Japanese popular culture that H!P’s other groups simply do not and will not possess. Momuso fuels H!P’s other acts. This was truer in years past than today, but it is still fundamental.
Now, C-ute and Berryz are both popular enough that they probably won’t ever just go the way of H!P’s neglected groups, but I can imagine with little difficulty an eventual end similar to that of Mini Moni. Over time, enough girls will leave each group that management will simply dissolve them rather then let them continue on so short handed. As for the fate of any H!P Kids that remain after this dissolution, that topic is one best reserved for other discussions…

Will Morning Musume add a new member?
Yes, they certainly will.

Should they add a new member?
There is no other choice.

All the reasons why C-ute won’t replace Erika apply to Morning Musume’s situation, only in reverse. As mentioned, they are the flagship group. They must always exist for H!P to have any chance of remaining a successful idol house. They are the rock on which Tsunku has built his idol church.
They also have never had group stability, so the entirety of the fans have never really thought of a particular lineup as the only lineup that is truly Morning Musume. Because the expectation of lineup changes has always existed, it’s much easier to perpetrate this act upon the fanbase.

Additionally, it is my belief that Tsunku is constantly chasing Goto Maki (I may do a future article entirely on this point). Goto Maki’s arrival in the group marked the beginning of Momuso’s golden age of massive sales and mass-market fame. H!P has been trying to recapture that magic with a fresh new face that would push millions of CD’s ever since. Kusumi Koharu was supposed to be that girl—Tsunku said as much. It turned out she wasn’t, and Tsunku has jumped ship. But he will apparently try again.
As I said last time, this strategy seemingly flies in the face of new management’s decision to break this “too many cooks” cycle and try to make Momuso a group defined by strong, recognizable personalities. Since the pandas arrived, there have been no line-up changes of any kind. This is by far the longest period of group stability we have ever seen. Based on this fact, and the statements of their current manager, I believed we might see several more years with the same lineup. If anyone would have graduated, it would have been Ai, but only when she decided she was ready to leave.
Deciding to graduate Koharu (a 17 year old, still in the early stage of her idol prime) flies in the face of all of that. However, it is very much in keeping with the willy-nilly, gut decisions Tsunku has made for years concerning the group. Tsunku was always the man behind the decision to graduate old members and bring in new girls. Is a power struggle happening behind the scenes between a management that now wants group stability and a producer whose whim has for so long prevented it? Do they each have different goals for the group? I won’t pretend to know. But I do know that Koharu’s graduation does show us that, despite any talk to the contrary, very little will actually change in how Momuso is run. It certainly puts the fear of God back into the wota. At any moment your favorite Momuso member could just blink out of existence. Gather ye idols while ye may…

If graduations are making a comeback, then auditions cannot be far behind. If staple girls must be plucked form the group then new girls must take their places. It will happen, and I cannot imagine us going any longer than another calendar year from Koharu’s graduation date before we get a new member, or two, or three.

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Idol Replacement Therapy: A Series in Three Parts.

By: The Incredible He-Hulk

Part 2: The Circumstances of Dilemma

Whenever a group loses an idol, that group risks losing some, or all, of the wota that were primarily fans of that girl. If the remaining idols can’t fill the vacuum, then the group will decline. To ameliorate this issue, idol groups often add new members. But, if the replacement isn’t a strong personality with a lot of appeal, she’ll end up being little more than dead weight for the girls already in the group—someone to drag along with them who contributes very little individually. Conversely, a new girl cannot be too forceful or too talented. A new girl thrust to the forefront of a long existing group is often met with hostility by existing fans that have existing favorite members. When a new girl is featured over a group of veteran members, hard feelings are inevitable and the new girl is demonized by many. And, what’s worse, even beyond these general hurdles all idol groups face when their line-ups change, C-ute and Morning Musume face additional, exclusive challenges when it comes to finding new members—Challenges based on each group’s unique founding, history, and standing in the idol world.

The H!P Kids groups should be categorized as idol ”street gangs”. Each born from a common collection of girls raised to be idols since adolescence. These girls have common experiences that have forged them into cohesive idoling units of one mind and one purpose. These girls have strived for years to get where they are today. They’ve succeeded and failed together. They’ve laughed and cried together. They’ve known heartache and joy together. And it’s because of this unified history that many fans of these groups cannot see them as revolving door units. They are fixed member acts that are made up of only the girls who deserve to be a part of them—the girl’s whose blood, sweat and tears forged their success and name recognition in the first place.

H!P has largely held to this “street gang” principle when handling C-ute and Berryz Koubou. In all the years since the H!P Kids were chosen, only one girl was ever added to the mix after the fact. Because of this, for a lot of fans, Arihara Kanna never really fit. I liked her (I like all the idols), but Kanna was never able to amass much of a following, and she never really looked like she was 100% comfortable being the new girl in a collection of idols that had existed for years prior to her involvement. It was no wonder then, that after much subterfuge and idol machinations, Kanna retired from H!P with no fanfare or eulogization. She simply ceased to exist. Kanna represents a lesson learned. Don’t mess with the H!P Kids group’s lineups if you can avoid it.

And yet, with the eminent departure of Umeda Erika, C-ute will soon find itself a five member group, three members short of their largest lineup. So, what will H!P choose to do? Will they be tempted to pull the trigger on a new girl simply because C-ute was formally an 8 member act? The desire to maintain original intentions and the status quo is often a strong one. Or, will they choose to stay the course with the 5 remaining members? A 5 member idol group can be successful as long as the personalities are strong enough, and C-ute’s two most important members remain intact. Both possibilities offer positive and negative outcomes.

Meanwhile, Morning Musume faces a similar situation, albeit one with its own set of particular challenges. In their case, they are losing a girl who is very popular, and, although she isn’t the lead, Kusumi Koharu occupies a place of prominence in the group. Because of this, any new girl that is added to the group won’t be able to, at least in the short term, replace Koharu’s popularity. She will be the new low-rung on the idol totem pole, and will be starting in a similar place to where the pandas began their careers. In a lot of senses, today’s Momuso is a group with few stars, and the last thing a group like that needs is another girl without star power.
But even though Momuso is losing a much more valuable member than C-ute is, they also have several advantages unique to their group that make adding replacement idols much easier, and, frankly, expected. For much of its history, Momuso was a “Growth or Death” idol group. In fact, they didn’t even reach the height of their fame until after they had replaced some of the original members and added new ones beyond those. Because there is an expectation of new members amongst fans, there will be very few rumbling against such a thing.

Additionally, despite the group’s age (and all the warts that come with it), Morning Musume is Morning Musume. The group’s former status as a pop culture phenomenon has caused it to be a name known to all of Japan. So, even though the group no longer sells nearly what it once sold, many prospective idols who would not be interested in trying out to be a member of C-ute or Berryz would want to be in Morning Musume. Morning Musume auditions receive thousands more applicants than H!P Egg auditions, and that fact alone increases the odds of finding a highly qualified replacement. Finding someone who is capable of replacing both Koharu’s important role and reaching her level of popularity is possible if not exactly likely.

A final simply interesting fact is that this graduation flies in the face of management’s recent openly acknowledged attempts to turn Momuso into a “too many cooks” idol group. Momuso’s manager has admitted in interviews that today’s group is largely unknown as individuals and that they recognize this as a problem. Few Japanese know any of the girls, or would even recognize that these girl’s are in Momuso unless you pointed it out. One of the goals of this new era was to reacquaint the girls, as individuals, with the nation. A graduation and then an audition flies in the face of this new approach. It’s a return to the same old, same old revolving door idol group.

Tomorrow, what to do.

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Idol Replacement Therapy: A Series in Three Parts.

By: The Incredible He-Hulk

The daily idol grind has claimed two new victims. By the end of the year, both C-ute’s Umeda Erika and Morning Musume’s Kusumi Koharu will move on from their idol careers into the nebulous career of “modeling.” But while I personally believe these girls want to be models mostly because being a model isn’t being an idol, the how or why of it isn’t of any particular significance. Graduated idols are spilled milk, and there’s no use crying (or speculating) over spilled milk. The real—and much more fun—question is whether or not H!P will bother to replace these fallen soldiers with fresh faced idol recruits.

I will be tackling this issue in a series of posts over the next few days. Today’s post will concern itself with the mechanics of idol replacement—the blueprints used to build the temples at which we worship. Tomorrow’s post will focus on the particular situations each group faces when considering adding new members, as well as the obstacles associated with those situations. Finally, the last article will discuss the pros and cons of adding members to each group and whether or not they should.

Part 1: A Conflict of Visions.

The first decision an idol house must make is simply whether or not a group needs an infusion of idol talent. C-ute and Momuso both have specific considerations to make, unique to each of them, when considering adding new girls. But before we deal with specifics, there are a few general schools of thought on what I’ll refer to here as the numerology of idol groupings, and many of these theories (all given names, now, by me) have been used for years by idol fans—whether they realize it or not—to argue for and against adding members to their favorite groups. At the very least, each has some interesting points to make:

- First, there is the “Growth or Death” school of thought. This theory postulates that an idol group that isn’t constantly replacing old idols, and occasionally simply adding new idols, is an idol group on the decline. In recent years, new groups such as AKB48 have made this theory the basis for their entire marketing strategy. The more idols you have in your group, the better chance that fans will find an idol in your group worth following.

- Next, there is the “Too Many Cooks” theory. This theory postulates that having too many idols in a group prevents idols from creating strong personal identities and building name recognition as individuals. An idol group is only as strong as it’s most famous idol. This is the primary theory used by “bandol” groups like ZONE, and other fixed number idol acts. By keeping the roster small, you put increased emphasis on each girl. Additionally, this increased emphasis creates increased pressure on the group’s idols to be appealing across a wide array of wota demographics.

- Lastly, there is the “Street Gang” theory of idol group creation which puts forth the position that there is an important bonding experience idols all go through when they are the founding members of a group. Their struggle to earn success unites them in a way that nothing else can, and so the close ties formed during this period give an idol group its personal identity. Thusly, any members added to the group after this period dilute the group’s power and further distance the act from its roots.

These three principles are helpful, but flawed, and are rarely universally applicable. This is partially because each principle argues against the others on some level, but also because the nature of an idol group’s formation is so often unique. Morning Musume, for example, ceased to be an idol “street gang” the moment the second generation showed up. So, whether or not you believe in this theory as an important element of a successful group is rather irrelevant when considering current Momuso. Meanwhile, the two H!P Kids groups are very much still “street gang” groups.
However, the fact remains that, regardless of their imperfections, these 3 theories form the basis for the formation and development of nearly every idol group, and therefore will be used to form the basis for this discussion about the current H!P idol group’s future membership.

Finally, once you get beyond these three theories for idol group formulation, there is one last guideline that applies specifically, not to idol group creation, but to idol group maintenance. This is the “Rock and a Hard Place” rule. This theory primarily concerns itself with the effect a specific idol’s departure has on the group and whether or not new idols can mitigate these effects, ameliorate them, or even improve the group in some way. A new idol must be an eventual gain, if not for the group and its chemistry, than at least because she can recoup, at least partially, the financial loss a departing idol creates.
A new idol is expensive, both to train and to promote, and whether or not she will eventually replace the lost sales of the departing idol cannot be easily predicted. So, the question becomes, will you replace the lost revenues created by a departing idol by spending more money to find, train, and promote a new idol who may, in the end, never be nearly as popular (and profitable) as the departing idol was? It is a difficult question to answer for a business that operates on narrow margins already.

Continued tomorrow.

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Berryz Kobo Alo Hello! and a whole lot of TMI

By: Xie

(￣ー￣)ﾉ" This is my first post of, hopefully, many more to come on a regular basis. My name on Hello! Online's christie, but on blogger I go by Xie. I'm an Idol Chatter translator, and I also have my own blog Momocore that I plan on sprucing up when I have the time. It's not particularly relevant or interesting, but I'll tell a bit about myself as a Hello! Project fan, just to give an idea of where I fall on the spectrum. The phrase, "They don't need your life story" vaguely crossed my mind, but since I'm probably going to be a permanent fixture here I figured I'd get all of my background info. out there just so you all know where I'm coming from. Feel free to skip this part entirely.

I've always been interested in Japan, Japanese culture, etc. I started studying Japanese casually about 4 years ago in my spare time. I randomly stumbled across Morning Musume videos and wanted to know more about them. From then on, I watched everything I could find of them and became a fan. My favorite was Nono (Tsuji Nozomi). I still have a place for her, among others, sewn into the framework of my Wota heart; a patch-work of new Idols overlapping those of the past, none ever completely forgotten. I liked many of the girls in their own ways; Morning Musume, Ayaya, W. I loved W, but when they ended, I lost interest in MoMusu.

I had never paid attention to the H!P Kids because I didn't "get it" at first. I thought they were just personality-less children with no talent; just gimmicks, cute dolls. However, when I heard "Special Generation" by chance, it changed my mind and opened up a whole new world for me. These girls were extraordinarily special; adorable and talented. They each had distinctive personalities and characteristics. I looked into them further and became a die hard fan instantaneously. I watched anything and everything I could find of them. At first I wasn't drawn to any member in particular, but I quickly noticed Momoko and became fascinated and intrigued by her. The time I got into them was only around when 'Kokuhaku' was being released, and I saw this video of Momo doing a morning TV spot in her "factory" costume. Her beauty, her mannerisms, her mysterious aura, her overall being captured my heart. I was really into Berryz for a while. I never visited forums or got involved with the community for some reason, but I followed their every move.

But, I knew it was more like a vice, an unhealthy mode of escape. As much as I loved them, my life wasn't improving around me. I thought, there's no way I can live life and follow H!P at the same time - it's either completely or not at all. I was so blinded by this beautiful world, it distracted me from the stark reality around me. I could see my true state, in the unforgiving light that exposes fantasies and dreams as empty words, insubstantial concepts, colorful illusions; shapeless, weightless, and false. Only the raw and undeniable facts remain, smoke and mirrors exposed. So, I proceeded to delete all of the H!P from my laptop and my mind, and focus on living. Well, that didn't help after all. About a year later, I missed it and got back into the loop. I reignited the interest I began a while back and discovered the H!O community. My favorite groups are still Buono! and Berryz; my favorite member being...well, you know the rest.(o￫ܫ￩o) I hope to someday be able to see Momo at a concert or event of some kind.

I had a pretty rough, gloomy youth. I ended up more of a punk kid as a result. I wasn't able to fit in anywhere, especially as a gay girl, and with a troubled past I kept hidden inside, there was always a wall up that prevented me from getting close to anyone or engaging in society. Why tell all of that personal information? Because, that's where my love for Idols comes in. Idols simply make me happy. They fill the gaping holes in my damaged heart and heal my broken soul. I love them and they love me back, without asking for anything in return. I'm a little, let's say, rough around the edges lol - I have difficulty finding girls I even get along with, nevermind that would give me the time of day. I get along with messed up kids just fine lol, but not with most 'normal' people, especially girls. With Idols, I'm able to be close to these angels and goddesses on Earth that I wouldn't otherwise be able to in real life. And I'm not the only one who feels that way - the entire Wota nation concurs. The Idol machine is incomprehensibly genius, flawlessly executed and conceived; stealing our hearts and wallets simultaneously. And we don't mind, because we'd walk 100 miles through the desert just to stand in their shadow. (。_＋)＼

I've been surrounded by a predominantly straight world my whole life. Though it may seem creepy or pathetic to want to see more images of girl love, then that's your opinion, but unless you've walked that dark, lonely path yourself, you don't know what it's like. For that reason, the same reason I love Yuri/Shoujo-ai anime and manga as well, I love the closeness and bond the girls share; their friendship and love for each other. How they hug, hold hands, joke about being couples, talk about things they do together like walking home and sleeping in the same bed. It's just extremely cute, is all. My love for Momo specifically is another story, though, in itself. ﾙ ’ｰ’ﾘ人(^ー^♥) *Oh sweet denial*

Some brief info. about myself: I live in Mass., US. My main passion, other than Momo, is music. I love drumming - I've been playing my whole life. I'm a Gemini, so I'm kind of all over the place lol. My musical taste is just as contradictory - Sludge, crust, doom, grind.. and the cutesy-est, sweetest pop on the planet. Go figure. Anyway, I'm pretty boring underneath the craziness. The only thing I can really say about myself is I'm allergic to the mundane, routine, superficial, and petty. I'm interested in all things beautiful, romantic, fantastical, thought-provoking, taboo, out of the ordinary. Idols and Yuri are my anti-drug. Actually, I love AKB48, too, but that little blasphemous fact won't be brought up in these parts. （≧∀≦）

As for my role in the H!P community, and what you can expect from me - I don't exactly have a niche. I'm not an expert in any area, (unless you count Momo-ology ☆（＞ェ＜；) I've never been to Japan to see them. I'm just a fan with a decent comprehension of Japanese. I can find sites and read what fans are saying. Japanese fans write down everything the girls ever say, including transcripts, what they recall from events, the contents of the MCs of the shows they attended, etc. I'll be translating random things from the past and present, predominantly of Berryz and Buono! since they're my favorite, but also H!P in general. I feel any and every piece of media is important; old articles, radio shows, etc. because they are just as much who they are now as they were 5 years ago, are they not? It's not humanly possible to keep up with the perpetual mass of H!P media. It's like emptying water out of the ocean with a bucket. But that won't stop me from crusading and shouting Idol praise from the mountaintops. ♪＾▽＾

The things I post will be completely random, but even if it's taking a while, or I'm preoccupied with something, I'll always be working on something and putting things out. I have a decent handle on Japanese, but I'm by no means fluent. It's more of a slow, painstaking process for me. But there's so much that foreign fans don't know about the girls, if I can help in any way, I don't mind taking the time to do so. The members of Idol Chatter share that same sentiment. I will be waxing poetic and posting about all that is Momo-specific on my blog, Momocore, and posting translations and whatever else comes to mind here. My only hope is that more H!P fans take what's available and discuss it, blog about it, take it and run with it. Ultimately, all I, and everyone here at Idol Chatter, hope to do is bring you closer to your Idols and keep you on the same page as the Japanese fans.
======================

Alo Hello! Berryz Kobo DVD Comments:
2009 has been good to us. In June, the first Alo Hello! Berryz Kobo DVD came out, and it didn't disappoint. I've watched every second of it on repeat for 2 months subbing it, but I still enjoy it. The commentary that came with it was just as, if not more, entertaining as the main video itself. It took as long as it did because we wanted to time and translate every single bit of audio and on-screen text. I worked away at the main and commentary audio constantly, chipping away at it like a block of ice with a chisel until it was completely accurate. I don't think you can get much closer to the girls than you're able to via the commentary. It's great to be able to hear what they had to say about the experience and each other.

Some personal thoughts and highlights:

I think the ukulele expert could've been funnier; like so ridiculous that they were desperately holding back laughter. That guy was more-so odd than funny; hence the question marks on their faces. But still, we got to see their impenetrable, professional Idol game faces of steel. With the exception of Risako.

I would feel kind of annoyed if I were them, to be filmed eating lunch. They know they have to be in Idol mode for the DVD, but they probably were thinking they really just want to eat without having to play to the camera lol. Maasa being bullied was cute. But that made me think, the only time they had a "main target" (Maa and Chii) was for the lunch scene. It would've been funny if they had specific pranks planned for every member. Although, I'm sure the reason they didn't do that is because that increased the chance of them suspecting it.

On the subject of pranks, I can't help but feel bad for them when they were scared by the guy in the van. I don't like seeing them run for their lives, it's a little painful to watch. But I guess that's the kind of thing you do to Idols - get reactions. We got to see a side of them we've never seen, looking death in the eye. I love how Maasa books it without thinking twice. I read from Japanese fans that apparently she's a bit of a scaredy cat, which is adorable since she has such a 'cool' image. She's afraid of water, as well. Miya said what everyone was thinking in the commentary: "Miya always thought Maasa would be the one who comes to our rescue... but you were the first to run!" (＞▽＜) She didn't forget you, Berryz! She was leading the way, assuming you'd follow suit behind her like a Mama duck with her babies.

They were more like chickens with their heads cut off, which is understandable; they had no idea what was going on. It's tricky to be ambushed and think sensibly at the same time. They did stick together for the most part, and Risako pulled Momo back, so I don't think they just flat-out left their fellow Berryz in the dust. Though, I thought they might've felt bad for Momo when she was crying, but of course they just made fun of her haha... I'll comfort you Momo, don't cry. *creep* ﾙ ;-;ﾘ＼(^ε^♥)

For the shopping, they're split into Team A: Saki, Maasa, and Kumai - the boring group. Team B: the childish group, Momo and Risako ("Fruities"), and Team B: Miya and Chii, the baka group. I was expecting Chii to do better with English since she likes English and is always talking about it and spouting it out at any given opportunity. But what I got instead was, "Please yes." (^▽^) I've noticed this on other occasions as well, but Miya has surprisingly amazing English pronunciation. There's always been something that seems Western, or not completely Japanese about her to me, that I can't put my finger on. It's funny because Miya's not known for her "smarts," but she has naturally great English pronunciation. Like when she says "Discount?" for example. It's extremely cute. But Chinami... is just Chinami.(^-^)

The two scenes where they're eating ice-cream are adorable. I've developed the "Idol Eye" when watching videos. You keep an eye on all of them so you don't miss anything. For example, Miya's sweater, Saki cleaning Chii's teeth: Miya-centric raburabu: ♥

The most entertaining shopping scenes were Miya and Chii's. I love their walk of shame back to meet some pissed-off Berryz across the board. On the contrary, Momo can glare at me like that any day... Hah

These final scenes are my favorite of the DVD. Their commentary basically covers it all. Momo and Chinami's watermelon attempts were adorable. Chinami's so cute, she's like an Anime character. Not to mention she has the most dazzling, inhuman smile on the planet. Her eyes twinkle, she always looks like she's beaming with joy. Her face is happiness defined.

The dodge ball game was classic. Like she pointed out, when they realized they were against the all-mighty Maasa, "It was like I was a monster or something." (^▽^〃) It turned out the real monsters to look out for were Miya and Chii. They were really kicking ass. Specifically Momo's. (ﾟ～ﾟ) Saki kept like grabbing her inner thighs for some reason, which was... distracting? （ﾟДﾟ;) Captain, as a general rule, try not to engage in any suggestive activity when the Wota are watching. We have a weak threshold for sexiness; we're virtually powerless against it. m(x_x)m

The scene where they play on the beach is adorable and touching. Highlight: Chii's violent bullying and child-like enthusiasm. Are you sure you're not a cartoon character, Chii? Please double check for me.

The paint scene. Something about their uniform white clothes somehow gives me the impression they planned this whole "paint on each other" situation beforehand. Hmm~ *strokes non-existent beard* This set up is pure win.
(´▽｀) Many questionable incidents occurred, however.

Questionable incident #1: Risako spilling the worst possible color paint in the worst possible place, and Momo's consequential delight. This is like porn to me, haha, Momo's hands... Hey, *dumps can of paint on myself* I accidentally spilled some, too! You wanna help me out...? >_>

#2: MiyaSaki paint gif The undeniable scandalousness of Miya painting Saki's chest. And the undeniable fact that this will be a recurring image in my fantasies... did I type that out loud? (￢_￢)

#3: One of our so-called 'innocent' little Berryz has stealthfully groped our 15-year old Socko. Show yourself, culprit, we've caught you pink-handed. Japanese fans think Chinami did it while Momo and Maasa were rubbing paint on each other. I think the editor is in cahoots with Satan. (｀ﾍ´#)"

My favorite moment in the entire DVD is this one -> Maasa Momo paint gif with Momo and Maasa. Momo's smile is so childish and happy. For a second she looked like a kid again.

Another thing I somehow missed - I must've been on horse tranquilizers or something at the time. I was probably distracted by the purple Chinami monster, but you can plainly see, like a target visible from space, the peach Momo spoke of in the commentary that Kumai painted on her bum.

Which raises another obvious question that needs answering. Why do they cut out all of the parts we're most interested in? Miya joining in on Chii's "Billy's Boot Camp," Kumai painting a peach on Momo's bum, some hoodlum tagging Socko's chest... I guess those tapes go on the Director's cut. And by that I mean literally a cut that the Director takes home for himself. Bastard~ How dare you... not share with us?

Random Gifs:
Dodgeball gif
Momo Ukulele gif
MomoMiya gif
SakiChiiMiya beach gif
MiyaChii beach gif
Momo fall gif
Saki dodgeball gif
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If you have any comments or opinions on something, by all means send 'em our way. Also, if there are any articles, radio shows, things of that nature that you'd like translated, send me a pm on H!O as a kind of request, and I'll let you know if I'd be able to. Keep checking in on Idol Chatter and Momocore. You're always bound to find something from the Mota on a mission. ☆(^━^)ﾉ

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The Curious Case of Mano Erina

By: The Incredible He-Hulk

Despite her Egg status, Mano Erina was immediatley given a prominent role in Ongaku Gatas. She quickly showed why she was allowed to stand shoulder to shoulder with the veteran idols in the group, and in doing so hinted at bigger and better things to come. And so, it came as a suprise to no one when, a short time later, she debuted as a full-blown solo artist. What was surprising, however, was the way in which H!P chose to market Mano Erina. Three specific facets of her marketing stand out as highly unusual and are quite possibly destructive to the girl’s long-term success: The framing of her character, her availability to the fans, and the deployment of her wares.

Mano Erina can play piano. This in itself is not unusual. Humans possessing a modicum of talent that manifests itself in specific endeavors is nothing new. But, for the most part, when an idol shows talents, these gifts are presented as adjunct personal characteristics not as a part of her career, whether musical or not. They are things reserved for fan club events and are used as bullet points on some Wiki at the ends of the internet. They flesh out a girl’s personality and nothing more. But, in Mano’s case, her piano playing was used, at least early on, as the fundamental thrust of her promotion. An idol that can sit down and accompany herself on an instrument well enough to do so live is highly unusual, and so it was no surprise that all her Indy singles we’re piano heavy mid-tempo pieces. When something unusual is presented to us, often the reason we take notice is simply because it is an oddity. It becomes our focus, and so, piano became her gimmick.
Now, this is highly unusual. Most idols’ artifices are entirely based on their personalities. Tsugunaga Momoko’s idol persona, for instance, is a punch to the gut. She’s manic and emotional; because at her core she is those things, really and truly. In contrast, Mano is presented as a gentle caress of the face; reserved, but positive; warm and gentle. Her wardrobe is an outward reflection of this style and of her music; pastel, flower-patterned skirts, scarves, and conservative school uniforms. It is protective clothing; flattering, but unrevealing. She occasionally will appear in traditional idol garb, at concerts and in photo shoots where H!P doesn’t control what she wears, but when she is shot for promotion of one of her personal commodities (Singles, Albums, etc) she is most often the gentle, smiling girl. So, the question is whether or not her idol personality, as presented, is simply the only choice for a girl who plays mid-tempo piano pop, or whether it is truly who the girl really is? Is it a match made in heaven, the perfect joining of girl, musical style, and talent, or is it the end result of promoting the uniqueness of one specific talent ahead of the uniqueness of the girl and then finding yourself boxed in?

This style of promotion is called further into question when comparing it to the larger milieu of idol music. I don’t have to tell you, idol aficionado that you are, that this style of presentation is highly unusual, especially for a brand new idol. Frenzied and unerringly cute is where the money’s at. Explosive, up-tempo pop is what drives the wota to spend their filthy lucre. They want to lose themselves at concerts. They want to dance, and sing, and chant and flip out. They don’t want to sit there while a girl plays piano. Thus, no matter how great she is, her promotion has already trimmed off a large portion of the fanbase. There is a large segment of H!P fans that will never be moved by Mano. Their money will remain firmly entrenched in pocket.

Idol music is never about contrasts. They are simply too subtle, and the idol business has all the subtly of a hammer to the head. Yet, Mano further surprises by being the most accessible, visible, and hard-working idol in H!P’s stable. The 7-11 of idols, Mano is always open for business. Check your watch, it’s highly probable that she has two handshake events, a mini-live, and a TV show scheduled during the next 15 minutes. If you want to meet a Musume, shake her hand, and say a few words, good luck with that. You’ll have grandkids before you get to go to one of the handful of meet and greets they hold. But, if there’s anyone left on the planet that hasn’t spent an hour, or more, talking to Mano, I don’t know him. At first glance, this seems like a fantastic thing, I mean, who doesn’t want that? But, wota-ism has one axiom that its tenets hold above all: "support your idol absolutely and completely in every endeavor." Thus, constant promotion of this sort is actually a deadly error. It’s Chinese water torture for the fans, exhausting them with a constant barrage of places they have to be and things they have to buy. Mano’s outstretched hand is no longer a rare opportunity to greet your idol, it’s a demand for tribute.
I have talked to more than one Mano wota who has become disheartened by the constant amount of events she has and things she is doing. Gold is beautiful not because it sparkles, but because it sparkles for only a few. Its rarity is half of its appeal. Just as absence makes the heart grow fonder, constant availability bores and fatigues it.

And, just as the heart and mind may become immune to the siren song of a wota’s favorite idol, so too may his wallet be exhausted by the unfair demands of her management company. Since Mano transitioned to major label status she has had two releases since the end of March and her third single is less than a month away. Berryz has averaged 3 singles a year over the last few years, Mano is currently on pace for double that. That in itself would be a joy for any fan; to always have her idol working, but each single arrives with an unethical twist. As we all know, an idol fan is forced to buy every single version of his idol’s single, conditioned in the Pavlovian method as they are. Each Mano Erina release comes in no less than 5 different versions. Each slightly unique, each required to complete the wota’s vast collection. It is shameless beyond measure.

When all of this is considered, it seems clear that H!P has segmented her market, they have made it so many H!P wota will simply never be interested in her. What’s more, her constant availability has already created a degree of lethargy amongst the fans and even an apathy toward her events and appearances. Combine that with a vast over-saturation of her commercial goods –goods wota feel forced to buy—and in some circles this apathy begins to turn into hostility.

It will be truly interesting to see if H!P realizes what it is doing with Mano, and whether or not they have any interest in avoiding its inevitable result. A slight shift in her image is begining to be felt. Hopefully it will measure high enough on the Richter Scale to make a difference.

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Nostalgia vs. New Ideas vs. No Ideas.

By: The Incredible He-Hulk


Today, in a bit of shocking news, pandering teen network The-N revealed that the cast of Degrassi would play the roles of Saved By The Bell’s iconic characters in a remake of the hit series Beverly Hills 90210...
In other less shocking (but slightly realer) news, H!P has recently announced the release of Chanpuru 1~Happy Marriage Song Cover Shuu~, a new album that features their current idol groups pantomiming the roles of slightly older and more iconic H!P groups while they sing cover versions of even older non-H!P J-pop songs.

Now, I’m all for nostalgia. Who doesn’t love Mini Moni, Pucchimoni, Decamoni, Insta-moni, and Vodka Moni On The Rocks? Nobody, that’s who. H!P has a fantastic past that is worth exploring and remembering. But, I have to wonder just who this album is supposed to be for...
Is this album to acquaint newer fans with H!P's past that weren’t around during these older groups’s heyday? If so, why have them sing covers of song’s that these groups never sang in the first place? Or, is the album for current fans who have been fans long enough that they fondly remember H!P’s glory days? If that’s the case, why not just have the girls sing songs from the groups that they are actually reforming?

If this was simply a one-time deal, then I don’t think anyone would mind a cover album. Cover albums can be fun. But what we’ve seen over the last year is H!P releasing cover after cover after cover. It’s as if H!P has their own "Hits from the 70's, 80's and 90's!" radio station now.
Cover You, Pepper Keibu, Dschinghis Khan, Edo no Temari Uta II, Shochū Omimai Mōshiagemasu; the list of covers done in the last calendar year is long and not so distinguished, Ice Man. Couple those tracks with this newest release and H!P artists doing covers has become a habitual trend.

Now, having old ideas that worked before shoved in our faces in place of new ideas is nothing new. That’s Transformers the movie; that’s Rocky VI. But, what H!P is doing with Chanpuru 1~Happy is twice as garish and twice as lazy. They’re taking their old ideas that worked once and then merging them with old ideas somebody else had that worked once. And, what’s worse, through this process they’re telling us they don’t have any new ideas of their own. They’re telling us they don’t want to pay anyone else enough money to come up with new ideas, either. And, most importantly, they’re telling us that they know we’re too dedicated to these girls to even care. They know we're caught in the catch-22 of the idol fan. Do you buy a crappy, boring CD to support the idols you enjoy so much? Or, do you refuse to buy terrible products and in doing so hurt the idols you want so badly to see succeed?

Like Pavlov’s dogs, the bell rings and we are fed. It matters not the food. We will always be hungry again when the bell tolls anew...

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Idol Chatter

By: The Incredible He-Hulk

“You will rejoice to hear that no disaster has accompanied the commencement of an enterprise which you have regarded with such evil forebodings.”
- Robert Walton in Mary Wollstonecraft Shelley's Frankenstein.

A journal is a record of ones personal thoughts; ones own, sometimes brutish, many times biased, opinions. Quite often, a blog is little more than that, despite the fact that it is for all to see, that it has been given over to the world for consumption. But, much like a gift is wrapped before it’s given to others, should one not burnish ones own opinions before presenting them to the world? Too often, it seems, a blog is created just for the owner and the owner alone, which makes on question the point of publishing it in the first place.

This is the question that occupies me when I view most H!P idol blogs. They are so often a disparate jumble of posts. All over the map ideas that aren’t really about much of anything:

“This just in: Ai’s so pretty.”

“Breaking news: Look at my new t-shirt and glow sticks I bought!”

“…PICSPAM!!!”

As far as Ai goes, truer words have never been uttered, but posts like these are really just so much doggerel.

These musings are the fires in which Idol Chatter was born. Idol Chatter is a blog that attempts to codify idol chat. To provide a standard for discussion that helps make “idolitry” even more fun and compelling by making H!P more interesting to talk about.

Truthfully, that’s a lot of pressure to put on just one man, and if it were up to me alone this site would quickly fall into desuetude. Luckily, one is never alone on this earth, or in his enjoyment of idols, and I’m getting more than a little help from my friends.

Because of all this help, Idol Chatter will become a swiftly flowing stream of idol information. Not only will get you get compelling discussion from a wide range of people, but you’ll get compelling information, too, and not simply information on new H!P releases, or appearance, dates and other things you can get anywhere. You’ll get translations of articles, interviews and radio shows that help you get closer look at your favorite idols. You’ll get an inside look at concerts, appearances and events from the very people who attend them to help you get closer to the actual idol culture. And, you’ll get analysis of H!P releases, what these releases say about H!P’s intentions for their idols and what the releases say about H!P’s past and the future.

So, it is with these assurances that I offer to you this blog. An amalgamation of so many; a walking, talking Frankenstein of idol opinion.

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